


Broken Boyfriend Material

by threedices



Category: Naruto
Genre: Everyone Has Issues, Everything is Beautiful and Nothing Hurts, Family Bonding, Hatake Kakashi Has Issues, Implied Inuzuka Kiba/Kankurou, Implied Inuzuka Tsume/Hatake Kakashi, Multi, No Uchiha Massacre, Siblings, The Inuzuka family has the least issues, Uchiha Itachi Has Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-10
Updated: 2019-09-10
Packaged: 2020-10-13 15:24:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20584742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/threedices/pseuds/threedices
Summary: Hana comes home and finds out that her mom has a new boyfriend, because Kiba complains about it.Has: healthy family dynamics, weird relationship choices and wrestling with Kiba.





	Broken Boyfriend Material

**Author's Note:**

> Because I desperately needed something fun. This was fun.
> 
> Some implied darker themes, like drinking and nightmares and shinobi missions.

Hana comes home to: "I'm not calling Kakashi-sensei Dad!" and is of half a mind to leave again immediately.

Kiba is going to be insufferable if Mom makes him do it anyway and Mom's obviously dating Kakashi.  
Both of those made good reasons to avoid visiting for a while.

Hana has heard enough stories, heck, there are stories about those stories, to know that Kakashi is a mess, and that's on his good days.

She walks into the living room anyway to watch everything unfold and egg Mom on.  
Some things are stronger than fear.

After all, Kiba had a front row seat when she got scolded by Mom for her life choices.  
This is payback.

At least Mom is more agreeable, these days.  
With Anko she gets along great and she has mellowed out a lot with her disapproval of Itachi.

Hana isn't even sure why she likes him herself, sometimes, so she had to improvise a bit when Mom put her on the spot.

Itachi is protective and loyal, all right, but he's also an Uchiha and after that one mission, Hana understood better why Mom warned her about him.

He is awkward and weirdly sexist for someone so clever, and overprotective and attention consuming in the typical Uchiha way.

One thing he isn't, though, is judgemental about her wish to be separate from her family, at least sometimes, or over the things she has to do for a mission.

If Anko is a mess over a nightmare or angry or drunk raving mad, he is perfectly stoic and cleans up, gets Anko into bed and makes breakfast the next morning, never mentioning a thing.

Hana knows, because he does the same for her.  
In return, they get him out of clan meetings, uncomfortable conversations he doesn't know how to handle, and scare any unwelcome suitors away, who didn't get the memo yet that he's already taken.

If Mom wants to get her own broken boyfriend, Hana's not gonna stop her.

It's a bit hypocritical of Kiba to whine about it, when he's so into the Kazekage's brother.  
The slightly goofy one who always wears paint and could kill you with twelve different poisons if he wanted to by now.

Hana heard through the grapevine that he took nearly dying by it to heart and worked until he became immune instead.

Good work ethic.  
Hana approves.

By now, the argument has died down a bit.

"Why are you so set against Mom having a boyfriend?"

"I'm not. I just don't want to have to call him Dad." Kiba is pouting.

It's a reasonable complaint.  
That would be weird.

Mom huffs. "I never said you had to."

Kiba squints at her. "Really?"

"Yep. It's fine. Come here."

Kiba goes, though he should know better and Mom takes him into a chokehold.

Hana watches him struggle for a bit before interfering.  
"I don't think he's getting enough air, Mom. Think of his brain. What if it gets any smaller?"

It's a tease and Kiba knows it, but he still snarls and lounges for her when Mom releases him.

Hana allows him to tackle her to the ground before reversing their places.

"Are you giving up?"

"Never!"

On his place by the couch, Kuromaru lazily ooens his eye and grunts at them when they rolls to near.  
Most other people think that's a growl, but they just can't listen right.

Mom calls them to order.

"Leave the old boy alone, you brats."

Hana lets Kiba's collar go and he her vest.

One last pinch and they leave each other alone.

"Is this settled, then?" Mom asks, her smirk a bit smaller than usual.

Hana shrugs. "Sure."

They both look at Kiba, who squirms before throwing his hands up. "Ok, ok. I get it. You love him. Whatever. I'm still not calling him Dad," he says, before Mom pulls him into a bone crushing hug.

Hana smiles. That's what she always tells Itachi and Anko. Her family is the best of all clans. 

(They don't argue with her about that. About many other things, but never that.)


End file.
